So today was the 2nd test for High Acuity. During the lectures, while complex, I felt I was understanding the material (much more than I understood concepts from previous semesters, anyway) which continued through my uncharacteristic studying that followed and endured throughout the test while I was taking it. A girl who always does so well told me her score, and I thought, "hey, maybe this will bomb" but then I was in there taking it and thinking, "Well, why did she get that score? Surely I achieved at least that, and she's way smarter than me." and I was lulled into thinking all was well.
And then, I pressed 'done' and looked at what I scored. And several things happened almost simultaneously. The first thing, I birthed a litter of kittens RIGHT THERE in the testing room. The second thing, I threw up a little in my mouth. That was followed up very closely with a near-swoon. And then, when my eyes unglazed a bit, I got up and left. After a stunned walk to the car (through biting, horrendous wind - I HATE that campus with a vengence) I sat there and gave in to some therapeutic crying. Then, I said good-bye to the until-then-really-good-shot-at high honors for graduation, pulled myself up by my bootstraps, and carried on with life. The moral? Find some stem cells for brain functionality/intelligence. Either that, or just study more. And maybe find a study group. Or, teach this stuff to my children so that I know it better. I think this 4th idea is the best of them all.
Meanwhile, back at the hartcave, things are improving but are far from where I want them. This is week is nearly already spent, so I'll have to try to plan for the weekend or next week to get some of this stuff accomplished. I have my first L&D clinical day this coming Wednesday, from 0600-1800. Then, I get to leave from there to pick up the first test for the teacher I work for, score/grade that, organize it, record the grades, and then deliver them to her along with the high/low/average stats she likes to have. I estimate I'll be leaving my home at 0515 that morning and finally returning to it at 2145 that night. Awesome.
And on that deliciously up-beat note, I'll say adieu for now and head for the nirvana of the bathtub and then to bed. Maybe even before 3am ;)
Melissa, That was by far THE HARDEST test EVER! and you know what I have decided? These "tests" are no indication of us as nurses, they are just giving us a hall pass to take NCLEX. You are going to be an awesome nurse and this one nightmare of a test will matter none :)
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